Understanding Anxiety: The Unseen Antihero of Your Mind
- Anissa Bell
- Apr 2
- 6 min read
Updated: 3 days ago
If one were to give a character to anxiety in a movie, it certainly would not be the protagonist or any villain for that matter. Instead, anxiety lies somewhere in between: a brooding antihero. While we can agree that it is unpredictable, exhausting, flawed and quite overwhelming – at the same time, we cannot deny that in important moments, anxiety proves to be useful. This is what makes anxiety one of the most misunderstood concepts.

Anxiety's Reputation: The Unwanted Visitor
Let’s face it: when anxiety enters the stage, it is not enjoyable in the slightest. You may look at anxiety as that uninvited guest who arrives to a party simply to eat all the snacks and distract the host with a lifetime of their problems to dissect. It overtakes the brain, turning even the most basic tasks into life-threatening situations. In a split second, sending a simple text message transforms into a catastrophe, all while a task lists starts resembling a military operation.
However, the unexpected plot twist is that anxiety can also be beneficial. It is not a mere detrimental feeling; instead, it serves the purpose of keeping us alive, warning us of potential risk factors, aiding us in future endeavors, and even pushing us to be more productive. In its most beneficial form, anxiety tells you to “maybe double-check that email for any mistakes before hitting the send button.” Or, “Let’s not procrastinate until the last minute to kick off that project.”
The Chaos is Necessary: Why We Need Anxiety
The truth is, anxiety is the anti-hero that works against you while helping you in its own dysfunctional manner.
Consider the following:
It Keeps You Sharp: Do you recall how, prior to that big presentation, interview, or test, a little anxiety actually helped you concentrate? That is because anxiety tends to bring up the fight or flight response, meaning you are more prepared to perform. So yes, feeling nauseous before a meeting is alright because it reminds you to stay vigilant. If you do not feel a little panicky, then you are likely to miss out on crucial bits of information. That is anxiety coming through for you! While manageable doses of anxiety can be beneficial, incessant worrying can easily become harmful. Be on the lookout for shifts from helpful to harmful: beyond-the-situation racing thoughts, unrelenting physical tension, or even feeling “on edge” without any realistic threat.
It Protects You: Anxiety, at least on a basic level, is a built-in safeguarding feature that is hardwired into your brain. It tries to save you from harm by warning you when danger could be imminent—such as that strange sound in the middle of the night or that awful gut feeling when someone seems untrustworthy. In moderation, anxiety heightens your vigilance, readiness, and safety. It is the force that makes you double-check the locks or reconsider that split-second decision.
But, if anxiety ‘overflows’ or goes into overdrive, it becomes unhelpful. Healthy anxiety comes in, does its job, and retreats.
Anxiety can improve your performance: Sometimes, anxiety is that slightly dramatic but surprisingly helpful friend. You know the one—always a little intense, but they get things done. That uneasy feeling of “something could go wrong” is often what nudges you to double-check your work. The key is to tend to the anxious thought—pause, check your work, assess the situation—and then let it go. Validate the signal, take appropriate action, and move on. Otherwise, you risk getting pulled into a false story, a mental spiral where anxiety stops being protective and starts being a problem.
When An Anti-Hero Turns Villain
The nerve-wracking part of it is that anxiety can lose perspective of the actual danger level. When it does not provide helpful jabs but rather cranks it up to DEFCON 1 for reasons that do not even require this level of concern, anxiety becomes problematic. For instance, texting someone and spiralling into ‘What have I said? What are their thoughts about me? Are they mad at me?" without any actual evidence that there, is a problem. They just didn't text you back for a while because they were busy.
Is it even worse than getting mystified in an unending cycle of ‘what ifs?’ What if I flunk? What if I make a terrible impression? What if I embarrass myself? Minor issues are eventually turned into epic dramas with the aid of anxiety’s pro skills.
Instead of remaining useful, when anxiety gains too much control, when it becomes an antagonist, that’s when the impact begins riling up chronic stress, sleepless nights, and all the overthinking that transforms a simple task into an intimidating decision-making contest.
Utilizing Your Inner Anti-Hero
How can we make the best use of anxiety without going overboard? The answer is to utilize it instead of fighting it. It is akin to negotiating with a very difficult partner, where at times you may have to listen and other times you may need to dictate some terms. Here’s what you can do:
Acknowledge It In Real Time
When anxiety begins to spiral out of control, step back for a minute and ask yourself, “Is this a real problem or simply my brain having a clickbait idea?” It is true that a lot of the time anxiety really is making a mountain out of a mole hill. Take a moment, breathe and ask yourself - is the situation you are facing as bad as what your mind is projecting? Look for the evidence. When you find yourself revolving in constant anxiety it becomes difficult to see what the reality of it is.
Channel It Productively
If you are troubled by something, redirect that energy to a positive resource. Working towards a deadline should not be worrisome. Take the initiative and start working on making it instead of stressing out. Avoiding things builds up anxiety, and start to do things will short-circuit the cycle. When you are doing something productive, anxiety has fewer conspiracy theories to slow you down.
Give It a Job
Rather than removing anxiety (which spoiler, probably won't work), redirect it. You may experience anxiety, but no crisis can be allowed as there are boundaries. You can tell anxiety: “Hey, I appreciate you trying to help me, but I don't really need you right now.” It is highly likely that you will still experience anxious thoughts, but they will be more controllable.
Practice Gratitude and Mindfulness
Worst-case scenarios thrive in anxiety. Ground yourself in the present to help counteract anxiety and notice what’s happening in your surroundings. Appreciating what is going well can instead help combine fear and gratitude. Practicing mindfulness is also helpful. When done, it allows recognition of when anxiety is at a peak, so stepping back can be an option.
Therapy: The Best Sidekick
Therapy can be useful in assisting you to change your relationship with anxiety. An able therapist will assist you in disentangling the web of thoughts and behaviors that contribute to your anxiety along with teaching you how to respond instead of react. You have the ability to reframe negative thought patterns, discover more productive coping strategies, and come to an understanding of what truly underlies your anxiety.
Final Thoughts on Anxiety: The Unwelcome Friend
Anxiety may never be the hero of the story who receives your applause, but you cannot dismiss it as the villain. It has, much like an anti-hero, a dark side. It can help you just as much as it can engage in hurting you. The objective isn’t to try to eradicate anxiety, but instead, discover how to understand it better so that it compliments your being rather than working against you.
So the next time anxiety comes bounding in ‘like a bull in a china shop’, do not be too quick in trying to fight it off. How about you take a second to pause instead, have a listen to what it is saying, and consider whether to follow its advice.
In the end, there is no doubt that even the most hostile anti-heroes maintain some good characteristics. Given some support, we can all learn how to appreciate our inner apprehension instead of hating it.
For more tips on insomnia, anxiety, and sleep anxiety, and professional mental health support, visit www.sleep-anxiety.com. Fill out the contact form to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Anissa Bell, LMFT, and find out if this treatment approach is right for you.
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