Balancing the Gratitude Lens and the Anxiety Lens: Strategies for Mental Well-Being

Ever fall asleep while your brain replays every awkward moment from the past 10 years? Congrats! You’ve met your anxiety lens. This is the part of your brain that scans the horizon like a hyper vigilant meerkat, always on the lookout for what’s wrong, what could go wrong, and what probably went wrong in 2006 but you’re only now realizing it.

On the other side we have the gratitude lens—the part of us that notices what’s going right. And let’s be real, this one doesn’t come naturally. Anxiety is like an over enthusiastic personal assistant constantly pointing out problems, while gratitude is like the wise but slightly under-appreciated mentor who reminds you to notice the good. Seeing things through both lenses can bring clarity and boost your mental well-being.

The Science of Gratitude

Our brains are hardwired with a negativity bias, meaning we’re more attuned to bad experiences than good ones. Evolutionarily this makes sense—our ancestors who were on high alert for danger (“Was that rustling in the bushes a tiger or just the wind?”) were more likely to survive. But in modern life this translates into an overactive anxiety lens, scanning for stressors like that email from your boss or the mysterious “We need to talk” text.

Gratitude works like a counterbalance. Research has shown that practicing gratitude regularly can rewire our brains, reducing stress and increasing overall happiness. Studies using fMRI scans show that gratitude activates the brain’s reward system, leading to increased dopamine and serotonin—the feel good chemicals that make life a little less “doom and gloom.” Even better? People who practice gratitude regularly report better sleep. And when you sleep better you’re less anxious. It’s a beautiful cycle.

The Sneaky Art of Noticing the Good

When people hear “practice gratitude” they often think of the big ticket items: “I’m grateful for my family, my health, my home.” And that’s great! But if you really want to build your gratitude muscle you have to start noticing the little things—the everyday wins that usually go unseen:

• You got a parking spot RIGHT in front of the store (a rare and glorious victory).

• Your morning coffee was perfectly brewed, like it came straight from a barista’s dream.

• A stranger complimented your outfit, and they seemed genuinely impressed.

• Your favorite song came on the radio just as you needed a pick-me-up.

• You remembered to take the laundry out before it got that weird mildew smell (small but mighty achievement!).

The more you train yourself to catch these little moments the more natural it becomes. Think of it like strength training—if anxiety is a bicep that flexes way too easily, gratitude is that muscle you need to work on intentionally until it starts flexing on its own.

Gratitude Practices That Don’t Feel Like Homework

If the idea of keeping a formal gratitude journal makes you groan you’re not alone. Some people love the idea of writing down their blessings each day but for others it feels like another item on an already overwhelming to-do list. The good news? There are plenty of other ways to weave gratitude into your life without feeling like it’s a chore.

1. The “Five Things” Rule

Every day list five small things that made you smile, even if just mentally. Keep it simple and realistic. The key is consistency, not perfection.

2. Gratitude Tag with a Partner

Each night exchange three good things about your day with your partner, a friend or even your pet (hey, they’ll listen). This not only reinforces positive experiences but also strengthens relationships.

3. Sticky Note Reminders

Write small gratitude notes and stick them where you’ll see them—bathroom mirror, fridge, laptop. It’s a little nudge to notice the good throughout the day.

4. Voice Notes to Yourself

If you’re more of a talker than a writer, record a quick voice memo listing things you’re grateful for. Plus it’s fun to look back on later.

5. Mental Gratitude Walk

Take a five minute walk and silently list things you appreciate as you go—maybe the sun feels nice, a flower is in bloom or a dog just trotted by looking extra fluffy.

The Sleep Connection: Why Gratitude Tucks You In at Night

We’ve all been there—lying in bed, exhausted but somehow wide awake as our brain compiles an anxiety highlight reel. Here’s where gratitude can help. Studies show that people who practice gratitude before bed sleep better.

Why? Because gratitude takes the focus away from stress and worry. Instead of ruminating about how to solve hypothetical problems, your brain starts associating bedtime with positive reflections. Over time this shift reduces nighttime overthinking (a.k.a. the insomnia monster) and eases you in to a more restful state.

Final Thoughts: A Mental Balancing Act

Balancing the anxiety lens and the gratitude lens isn’t about ignoring real problems or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about recognizing that while our brains are naturally wired to spot danger, they can also be trained to notice the good. The key is to start small—no need to write a gratitude novel each night. Just start with one or two things, let it build and see how it starts to shift your perspective.

---

For more tips and professional support, visit www.sleep-anxiety.com. Fill out the contact form to schedule a free 15-minute consultation with Anissa Bell, LMFT, and find out if this treatment approach is right for you.